Today, I’m smiling. 🙃 I’m smiling because I finally turned off my phone for ALMOST the entire weekend. I’m smiling because, although I DID end up working about 4 hours for my day job and about 2 hours for this social account, I finally spent the weekend getting back to my roots and following through with a few passions I love…decluttering, cleaning & organizing.
YES, yes, I know…this month was supposed to be dedicated to decluttering; I wrote a blog about it, I created a free pdf for it, and I started off the month with the hashtag #declutterwithA…but do you want to know what ACTUALLY happened behind the scenes the past two weeks?
I hate to admit it, but I’ve been drowning.
Work stress from my day job has been at an all time high, while creating, writing, editing, scheduling, and engaging for A of all Trades, has been at an all time low.
It all started the 2nd week of January. I was focused, motivated and I created plans, concepts and content in an attempt to structure myself to be more organized and consistent in the following weeks. I planned out the days I would post, I developed what I would write about and by January 20, everything changed. I was suddenly hit with more projects at work, more tasks to do, and more meetings to follow up with, as well as less time and even less energy to work on my own goals.
I’m currently in a position at my day job, where I’m required to develop strategies, build content, and make a LOT of decisions at work, which in turn, feels like I have nothing left to give to myself at the end of the day. (If you haven’t felt “decision-fatigue” before, IT’S REAL!)
What really happened?
Cut to the evening of Monday, January 28. The declutter series would launch in less than 4 days. I’ve already announced this on stories, I’ve already written and promoted the blog, I’ve already created the pdf and sent it out to everyone who requested it, I’ve already committed to this project.
There was no turning back now, and I was like a deer in headlights. I had NO decision-making energy left inside me, but had to FIGHT with my brain to “man-up,” focus, and get this thing up and running by Friday.
What I needed to figure out, plan and execute were:
- A countdown on IG Stories (with photos)
- A story about each stage of the declutter pre-process (with photos)
- A story video of me introducing the declutter series and what I’m about to do
- A “declutter-with-me” video about “how” I’m decluttering
- Before photos
- During photos
All. Before. Saturday
…AND all of these photos had to be staged. Why you ask? Because instead of taking videos and journaling my journey from day 1 of the process (which would be Saturday February 2nd), I had a seminar I was attending all day that Saturday, that I had agreed to attend weeks earlier.
So, I stood there in the kitchen, with B helping me, and laid it all out. Tuesday morning I would wake up at 3:30am, he would go to the gym, while I got ready. I would then take videos of myself pretending it was Saturday and showing me declutter. After I completed all the “before,” and “during” shots, B would take photos of me pretending to do all my declutter prep, which I would post Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, to get everyone excited and ready to start decluttering Saturday (even though I wouldn’t be starting that day anyway because I had a seminar to attend).
The following days, I continued to wake up at 4:00-5:00am every morning to plan and prepare my instagram posts for that day, before I would go to work and stay until 6pm. Not to mention what I gave up that week to work on this series, that I couldn’t even participate in myself!
You know what milestone I skipped? My 2 year anniversary with B on Friday night…yep. We didn’t celebrate our 2 years of dating because I had to stay in and edit fake videos showing me decluttering, when I literally only began the process for the camera, and had to leave all my clothes out in a pile in our bedroom, because I didn’t have time to follow through with the actual declutter process, something I love.
In the past week since the Declutter series launched, I haven’t posted ONE THING about decluttering since that Saturday, Feb. 2. I had such high hopes, the first weekend would be clothing, the second weekend would be makeup and beauty, and so on throughout the weeks, but I didn’t get there. I didn’t plan. I didn’t schedule. I didn’t have the time nor the energy. I felt unproductive, worthless, and inferior. But you know what? That feeling lasted for about a day, because you know what I did about it?
I let it go.
I didn’t let my “shoulds” take over my life.
I didn’t let “shoulds” take control of my emotions. I didn’t give in to feeling worthless because of not following through on something I had originally created. YES, it’s important to follow through with your promises and YES it is important to follow through with your ideas, but if it’s affecting your health (mentally or physically), your sanity or your self worth, IT’S NOT WORTH IT.
It’s time to take CARE of yourself.
Take care of your health and your emotional well-being, because if you aren’t at your highest frequency and if you aren’t recharging the way your body and mind needs to, how are you supposed to help others? How are you supposed to help the people who depend on you? How are you supposed to live your life to its fullest, every single day?
Today, I want you to remember:
Your self worth isn’t determined by your status, your connections, or your comparison to your peers; your self worth is determined by how you feel about yourself on the inside, what moral compass you follow on a daily basis, the kindness in which you treat those around you (as well as how you treat yourself), and by how you are taking action every day to follow and achieve your dreams.
What action steps do you take to help yourself first? Let me know in the comments!