Be a sprinkled donut in a world full of bagels! ⠀
When I was 8, I lost all confidence and stopped talking, not altogether, but I would mostly speak only when spoken to. I tried to fit in, I tried to act “normal” so I wouldn’t be made fun of anymore. I went from being a loud, goofy and weird “wild child” to being the most shy and quietest person in the room. ⠀
I lived like this for all my teenage years and into my early 20s, where I started drinking alcohol to loosen my shy inhibitions a bit, until I finally cut ties with that shell of a human, and started living my whole life again. ⠀
Let’s backtrack a bit, I was 23, in a bad relationship at the time, living in a different state where I had no friends and was completely miserable. I was quickly losing faith and hope in my own happiness and I didn’t know what else to do until something unexpected changed my life.
One day, I was cleaning our apartment and an infomercial popped on the tv talking about Tony Robbins. (I must have been living under a rock, because I had no idea who he was at that point.) I bought the tapes, figuring it couldn’t hurt, all those people seemed SO happy, even though I knew it was an infomercial. ⠀
As I was listening to the tapes, he said something that changed my life forever. I honestly can’t remember exactly what he said, but I FINALLY realized that I could change my life, and be happy. I don’t know why I had never thought of that earlier; that I could always move back home, that I could always turn my life around, that I could always BE HAPPY, I just had to make the decision to do so. ⠀
I ended that relationship, moved back home to CA and regained the confidence in myself that I had lost 15 years earlier. I finally realized that I CAN be my weird, goofy self and walk around with confidence because I am a worthy human being and SO ARE YOU! I’m not saying you’re going to grow your confidence overnight, it’s definitely been a journey, but every day is another step closer to being your true self and speaking up for your own beliefs. Honestly, I look at every decision I make and everything I say as “what’s the worst that can happen,” and that motto has TRULY changed my life for the better.
As an example, you go to your boss to ask for a raise, “what’s the WORST that could happen?” You COULD get shot down, you COULD be embarrassed, or worse yet, you COULD be fired (which, let’s face it, if you’re asking for a raise, you probably haven’t done anything worth being fired over), but IF you were to be fired, you’ll find another job, you’ll do something else, no one is dying, this is not the end of the world. Stand up for yourself, because no one will stand up for you. Same goes for being honest in your relationships, both familial, friendships, and romantic relationships. If those people don’t like you for who you truly are, you’re better off without them. There are so many GOOD people out there who would love your crazy, goofy self!
I’m now in my forever relationship with the love of my life, and if I hadn’t shown him my true colors at the beginning, if I hadn’t turned away all the other suitors I’d been dating, because I was looking for more, someone WORTH investing my time in, someone WORTH investing my vulnerability in; if I hadn’t shown the confidence in myself and if I hadn’t been completely insane and goofy every day of my life, I may not have landed such an equally weird, supportive and loving partner in crime.
Every day is a chance to be yourself, stand up for what you believe in, and to not settle for anything sub-par. You are worthy, you are deserving, just prove it to yourself. YOU GOT THIS, Girl!!
With love and strength,
PS: I’m always on your side, just think of me saying to you “What’s the worst that could happen?”